the world works in such weird ways

I was at work tonight and I heard a little boy say something intellectual. It threw me off because I'm used to hearing little boys talk about imaginary stuff or race cars. It made me think about how great the world was when I was little. I didn't have to worry about hormones, I didn't have to worry about my weight, I didn't have to worry about getting good grades or when I'm going to take my SATs. I know that 5 years from now I'll be looking back saying man I wish I was 16 again the world was such a simpler place. I think I'm just an old soul. I think I have my moments where I'm a teenager, but most of the time I feel like I'm a 50 year old woman. I feel like a 50 year old woman who hasn't found love and is very lonely. I know I have years to find somebody, but its turning into a constant thought. The fear of being alone... or more specifically the fear of not falling in love. My life aspirations are split. there's one side of me that wants to meet the most amazing man and have a huge family fairly young. The other side of me wants to go out and be a successful business woman and change the world. These two aspirations definately do not clash. meanwhile I'm struggling with what to do about him. Last year when we decided we were done for good, I didn't really think it was serious. I just kind of assumed we'd get over it eventually, but as of now I really am starting to think that wong happen. Everyone is getting sick of this, including myself, but I need someone to talk to about it. I cant talk to him about it because he still likes her and I dont think it'd do any good other than just make it extremely awkward. Why cant this be simpler?