part 2.

Today did nothing to make me feel better. I decided I wasn't going to try to hang out with you, yet you still came over and sat with me. That did bad things to my emotions. Of course when you did that my heart leaped from my chest. Why do you do this to me? I just want to tell you how I feel, but I know that really won't do much good. I just wish she wasn't in the picture. This would all be a lot easier. Actually it wouldn't be much of an issue. I want you to know. I want someone to tell you, and I want you to care. I want you to really think about it and realize maybe this would be what's best for you. We only have one more year of highschool. I'm terrified I'm going to lose my chance. I always thought we'd be together again at least senior year. The thought that it may not happen scares me. What do I do next? Do I ask a mutual friend to bring it up and make you feel stupid for not realizing? Or should I write you a letter? A letter sounds so formal. This is definately not that. Why do things like this have to be so incredibly difficult?

Until I make my decision....