another day...

I have a lot of obsessions.
but Rent was my first one. I wouldn't know whether to call it an obsession or love. I have never felt that way about anything and I still dont. I'm a genuine renthead you could say. Ask me anything about it. I bet you I know the answer without needing to think about it. I've met adam pascal and anthony rapp. going to see them again for a second time in april and hopefully a third time in may. I've seen the show 7 times live. hated the movie, like any other original renthead. Daphne is my favorite mimi, even if she doesnt have the best vocals ever. Justin Johnson IS angel. I've seen him like 4 times and hes going on tour again. Fredi walker is my favorite joanne. Anthony is by far the best mark and Frenchie Davis is a powerhouse SOL soloist. If you ever need to know anything about rent, turn to me.
I think rent triggered the obsessive side of my brain. The next one that hit me in eight grade was with a certain rockstar. I can't say that one has faded a whole lot, but i've definately let that one die down in comparison to rent. I actually wouldn't call that a voluntary obsession. That is more what I'd like to call fate. See I don't believe in coincidence. There's no such thing. There is some greater force up there controlling everything, making things happen for a reason. So when my mother or a friend says wow what a coincidence, I just roll my eyes and agree with them to avoid arguement.
I had my miniature obsessions if you could even call them that. I had this thing when I completely wanted to be a scenester. I idolized HannaBeth and started dressing in funkier clothes. Actually to other people, it seemed like I had really changed myself. To me, I think that's when I found myself. I had to go to my extreme to find my normal. This past summer at point park was when I really realized I wasn't made to be a hardcore girl, but funky clothes were definately part of me, and that my personality suited a more 'nice girl' life.
Then there's obviously Twilight... but I mean with this many prior obsessions, it was impossible to avoid me getting caught up in this series. It was like nothing I'd ever read before and I devoured them. I remember I was so antsy for breaking dawn to come out. And when I heard it was bad, I got super nervous and almost didnt want to read it. The movie was a big thing too, going to the midnight showing was definately something I will never forget. Its a shame they couldnt do the movie better though. I was pretty dissapointed.
Here's an interesting example that you can't force yourself into obsessions. I went to see the Jonas brothers when they came here. I didn't really care for them, I didnt even know any of thier songs. I went with a few friends who are obsessed with them. My friend and I ended up winning front row seats and they were the best seats in the house cause they were right on the center where they walked the little catwalk thing. Well it was at that concert where, just like every other girl in that stadium, I swore nick kept looking at me. It was like everytime he came closer to my side we'd lock eyes and then he'd look away... but then look back. Now that I have more sense in me I know he probably wasnt even looking remotely close to me, but just scanning the section. But man the few months after that I pushed myself so hard into being obsessed with them, and I'll tell you it worked pretty good for a while. But it started to fade away. Dont get me wrong I'm kind of a fan and I have a lot of respect for what they're doing, but I just cant compare it to my love for some other stuff/people.

All in all, I just really needed that release. I can't talk to anybody about this sort of thing. No one seems to understand, and I just come across as a crazy person. But now that I've published this I feel a lot better. And if no one reads this post as long as I live, it wont make a hint of a difference to me.
Goodnight