still here.

I'm just not sure anymore.
I cant wait to get out of here
and be in charge of myself.
I want to go out west and
just explore for a little.
But I'm also terrified
of being on my own. For
now I'll just have to keep
up this fantasy in my head
a little bit longer, but as soon
as I can, things will change.

weird weather.

It felt like spring today. It gave me a taste of how happy I get during spring and how much I like to be social. I was definately in a better mood today than normal. Too bad its supposed to snow tomorrow :[ It went from 20 degrees to 60 and now back down to 20 tomorrow.
I hope you bought me a rose. I don't think I like you like that anymore, but I don't like the idea of 'sharing' you. You're pretty much my best friend and we've had such fun times together. And I once did think of you in a way more than friends, but I realized it wouldn't have worked anyways. You're too flirty and I'd probably get jealous easily. I don't like all the attention you give her. I wish I was still your best friend the way I used to be. Can we go back to that?

dancedancedance

LONG weekend. actually the past two weekends have been looonngg. Urban Jamm was decent. I got a 10th place gold for my solo, which kind of sucked I guess but at least I got a gold and not a high silver. Jump was inspiring to say the least. In Fusion dance studio is AMAAZINGG I want to joinnn them. Mahkala Ross of course was amazing but Mia from their studio is rediculous. Theres others from other studios that stuck out too, especially Miranda Maleski, but she doesn't connect to the music I feel that Mia does. We had a long talk at the studio tonight about how to get more energy in our competition dances. I was glad my quartet did best out of all of our dances. We need a teacher who can really help us get better. :/

...

Well there goes that dream.

I feel alone. I've never felt this alone in my life. I'm scared.
I want someone to care.

It feels like quick sand is sucking me in. At this point I might as well let it.


Get Me Out Of This Hell Hole Please.